Sarah thought she’d found her soulmate. The charming doctor from London messaged her every morning, remembered her favorite coffee order, and shared heartfelt stories about losing his wife to cancer. After three months of daily conversations, he asked for help with a “temporary financial emergency” – just $2,000 to cover medical expenses for a patient in need.
Sarah never hesitated. She wired the money immediately, believing she was helping the man she’d fallen in love with. But “Dr. Michael” was never a doctor at all, and Sarah was about to become another statistic in New York’s growing romance scam crisis.
Stories like Sarah’s are playing out across the state with devastating frequency. As Valentine’s Day approaches, New York officials are sounding the alarm about romance scams that have already cost residents more than $42 million in just nine months.
The Growing Threat of Romance Scams
Romance scams represent one of the fastest-growing forms of online fraud, and the numbers are staggering. According to the Federal Trade Commission, New Yorkers lost over $42 million to these schemes during the first three quarters of 2025 alone.
“These so-called romance scams exploit people’s emotions and trust, and no New Yorker should have to pay the price, emotionally or financially, for unscrupulous actors,” said New York Secretary of State Walter T. Mosley. “As online interactions become more common, especially around Valentine’s Day, it’s critical that consumers know the warning signs.”
The mechanics of romance scams are both simple and sophisticated. Criminals create elaborate fake identities online, often using stolen photos or even deepfake technology to create convincing videos. They target people seeking genuine connections, then slowly build trust over weeks or months before making their financial move.
What makes these scams particularly cruel is how they prey on fundamental human needs for love and companionship. Scammers don’t just steal money – they destroy trust and leave victims questioning their ability to form real relationships.
Red Flags and Warning Signs to Watch For
Understanding how romance scammers operate can help you protect yourself and your loved ones. These criminals follow predictable patterns, and recognizing these red flags could save you thousands of dollars and months of heartache.
- Too good to be true profiles: Professional-quality photos, perfect English despite claiming to be from another country, or job descriptions that seem glamorous but vague
- Immediate intense emotions: Professions of love within days or weeks of first contact
- Avoidance of meeting: Always having emergencies, working overseas, or being deployed that prevents in-person meetings
- Requests to move off platforms: Quickly asking to communicate through personal email, text, or messaging apps
- Financial requests: Any request for money, gift cards, or personal financial information
- Cryptocurrency pressure: Encouraging investments in fake cryptocurrency platforms or “sure-fire” investment opportunities
“The requests for money often start small,” explains fraud investigator Maria Rodriguez. “They might ask for $100 for a phone bill or $300 for car repairs. Once they get that first payment, they know they have a victim, and the requests escalate rapidly.”
Scammers have also adapted to new technology, using artificial intelligence to create more convincing fake profiles and even generating realistic-looking photos that don’t actually exist. Some sophisticated operations employ teams of people working around the clock to maintain multiple fake relationships simultaneously.
| Common Scammer Claims | Reality Check |
|---|---|
| Military deployment preventing meetings | Military members have regular communication access and don’t ask civilians for money |
| Traveling businessman stuck abroad | Legitimate travelers have access to banks, embassies, and proper financial channels |
| Doctor or engineer with temporary cash flow issues | Professionals have established banking relationships and don’t rely on strangers for emergency funds |
| Inheritance or business deal requiring upfront investment | Legitimate business opportunities never require personal funds from romantic partners |
Who Gets Targeted and How to Fight Back
While romance scams can affect anyone, certain groups face higher risks. Older adults, particularly those who are widowed, divorced, or recently single, are frequently targeted. However, younger people aren’t immune, especially those active on dating apps and social media platforms.
“We’re seeing victims across all age groups and income levels,” notes cybercrime specialist Detective John Walsh. “The common thread isn’t age or wealth – it’s vulnerability and the human desire for connection.”
The emotional impact often proves more devastating than the financial losses. Victims describe feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and reluctant to trust again. Many suffer in silence, making it difficult for authorities to track the full scope of the problem.
Recovery involves both practical and emotional steps. Victims should immediately report incidents to local police, the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center, and the Federal Trade Commission. Banks and credit card companies should be notified to prevent further unauthorized transactions.
Prevention remains the best defense. Never send money, gift cards, or provide banking information to someone you’ve met online but never encountered in person. Be skeptical of anyone who seems too perfect or pushes for a quick emotional connection.
Video calls can help verify someone’s identity, but be aware that scammers increasingly use deepfake technology to create convincing fake videos. The safest approach remains meeting in person in a public place before developing serious emotional or financial commitments.
“Trust your instincts,” advises consumer protection specialist Lisa Chen. “If something feels off or too convenient, it probably is. Real relationships develop naturally over time, not through urgent financial emergencies.”
The Cryptocurrency Connection
A particularly troubling trend involves fake cryptocurrency investment schemes. Scammers build romantic relationships, then gradually introduce victims to “exclusive” investment opportunities. They create sophisticated-looking websites and apps that show fake profits, encouraging victims to invest more money.
These crypto romance scams can result in losses of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Victims believe they’re building wealth with their romantic partner, only to discover that their money has disappeared into untraceable digital wallets.
The combination of romance and cryptocurrency creates a perfect storm for fraud. Both involve elements of trust and future promises, making it easier for scammers to manipulate emotions while appearing to offer financial security.
FAQs
How can I verify if someone I met online is real?
Reverse image searches can reveal if profile photos are stolen, and video calls help confirm identity, though be aware of deepfake technology.
What should I do if I think I’m being scammed?
Stop all communication and financial transactions immediately, then report the incident to local police and the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center.
Can I recover money lost to romance scams?
Recovery is difficult but possible in some cases, especially if you act quickly to report the fraud and work with banks to trace transactions.
Are certain dating platforms more dangerous than others?
Scammers operate across all platforms, including social media sites, so vigilance is necessary regardless of where you meet someone online.
How do I help a friend who might be getting scammed?
Approach the conversation with empathy rather than judgment, share specific concerns about red flags, and offer to help verify the person’s identity.
Why do people fall for these scams if the signs seem obvious?
Scammers are skilled manipulators who exploit genuine human emotions and needs, often targeting people during vulnerable periods in their lives.
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