Maria sat in her car after another exhausting day at work, scrolling through social media posts of friends traveling to exotic locations and celebrating promotions. At 34, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d somehow missed the boat on having the “best years” of her life. Her twenties felt like a blur of stress and uncertainty, and now she wondered if her prime time had already passed her by.
What Maria didn’t realize was that she was about to discover something that would completely change her perspective. The best stage of a person’s life isn’t tied to any specific age or milestone—it’s connected to a fundamental shift in thinking that can happen at any moment.
This revelation comes from Spanish psychologist Rafael Santandreu, who has captivated hundreds of thousands of followers with a simple but powerful message: the best phase of life begins the day you choose to think differently about your daily reality.
Why Age-Based Happiness is a Myth That Holds Us Back
For decades, psychology has wrestled with a seemingly straightforward question: at what age are people happiest? The answers have been all over the map, and for good reason.
Childhood gets painted with rose-colored glasses—endless summers, no responsibilities, pure joy. But research reveals a more complicated truth: complete dependence on adults, limited autonomy, and virtually no control over major life decisions.
Young adulthood appears to be the golden age of possibility with its promise of new adventures, career launches, and romantic discoveries. Yet mental health data consistently shows these years are marked by anxiety, financial stress, and chronic uncertainty about the future.
“The real issue isn’t finding the perfect age,” explains Dr. Sarah Chen, a behavioral psychologist at Stanford University. “It’s realizing that searching for a ‘peak time’ keeps us from fully experiencing whatever stage we’re actually in.”
Later adulthood often brings wisdom and perspective that younger years lack. Many older adults report feeling less concerned with drama and more focused on what truly matters. However, health challenges, loss of loved ones, and social isolation can create significant hardships.
Studies consistently fail to identify a single “peak age” for happiness because they’re asking the wrong question entirely.
The Mental Shift That Changes Everything
Santandreu’s approach breaks completely from traditional age-focused thinking. According to his research and clinical experience, the best stage of a person’s life begins with a specific mental transformation that has nothing to do with birthdays.
This shift involves deliberately stopping the habit of complaining about daily frustrations and instead training your mind to notice what he describes as the “incredible, almost magical” details already present in ordinary moments.
Here are the key characteristics of this transformative thinking pattern:
- Present-moment awareness: Focusing on current experiences rather than dwelling on past regrets or future anxieties
- Gratitude for small things: Recognizing beauty and meaning in routine activities and simple pleasures
- Reduced complaining: Consciously limiting negative commentary about daily inconveniences
- Acceptance of imperfection: Understanding that challenges are normal parts of life rather than personal failures
- Curiosity over judgment: Approaching difficult situations with interest rather than immediate criticism
“When someone makes this mental shift, I’ve seen 25-year-olds become happier than they’ve ever been, and 60-year-olds discover joy they didn’t know existed,” notes Dr. Michael Rodriguez, a cognitive behavioral therapist with 20 years of experience.
| Before the Shift | After the Shift |
|---|---|
| Waiting for the “right time” to be happy | Finding contentment in current circumstances |
| Focusing on what’s missing or wrong | Noticing what’s working and beautiful |
| Comparing current life to idealized past or future | Appreciating the unique value of the present stage |
| Feeling victimized by daily challenges | Viewing obstacles as natural parts of growth |
The power of this approach lies in its accessibility. Unlike major life changes that require significant resources or time, this mental shift can begin immediately and doesn’t depend on external circumstances.
How This Changes Real Lives in Practical Ways
People who embrace this thinking pattern report profound changes in how they experience daily life. Instead of waiting for major milestones to feel fulfilled, they begin finding satisfaction in previously overlooked moments.
Take morning commutes, for example. Rather than viewing traffic as a frustrating obstacle, individuals practicing this mindset might appreciate the quiet time for reflection or notice interesting architectural details they’d previously ignored.
Work stress becomes more manageable when approached with curiosity rather than constant complaint. Someone dealing with a difficult colleague might shift from thinking “Why do I always get stuck with impossible people?” to “What can I learn about communication from this challenging situation?”
“I started practicing this about six months ago, and my relationships have completely changed,” shares Jennifer Walsh, a 41-year-old teacher from Portland. “Instead of always telling my husband what went wrong during my day, I began sharing small things that went right. The whole energy in our house shifted.”
This psychological approach affects multiple areas of life:
- Career satisfaction: Finding purpose and growth opportunities in current roles rather than constantly seeking the “perfect job”
- Relationships: Appreciating partners and friends for who they are instead of focusing on what they lack
- Health and aging: Accepting physical changes while focusing on current capabilities
- Financial stress: Finding contentment within current means while working toward goals
- Social connections: Building deeper relationships by being present rather than distracted by “what if” scenarios
The ripple effects extend beyond individual well-being. Families report less conflict when parents model this approach. Workplaces become more collaborative when team members spend less time complaining and more time problem-solving.
“This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending problems don’t exist,” clarifies Dr. Lisa Park, a researcher studying positive psychology interventions. “It’s about training your attention to include the good alongside the challenging, which creates a more balanced and resilient mindset.”
The transformation doesn’t happen overnight, but many people notice initial changes within weeks of consistent practice. Simple exercises like writing down three things that went well each day or taking five-minute walks while consciously appreciating surroundings can begin the process.
What makes this approach particularly valuable is its independence from external validation or circumstances. Economic uncertainty, relationship challenges, or health issues don’t prevent someone from practicing this mental shift—in fact, difficult times often make the benefits more apparent.
For Maria, the woman sitting in her car comparing her life to others on social media, this realization came as a relief. The best stage of her life wasn’t something she’d missed or had to wait for—it was available the moment she decided to shift her attention from what was lacking to what was already present.
FAQs
What exactly is this “best stage of a person’s life” that the psychologist refers to?
It’s the period when someone shifts from constantly focusing on problems and complaints to deliberately noticing positive details and accepting their current circumstances while still working toward goals.
Can this mental shift really happen at any age?
Yes, according to research and clinical observations, people in their 20s through their 80s have successfully made this transition and reported significant improvements in life satisfaction.
How long does it take to see results from this approach?
Many people notice initial changes in mood and perspective within 2-3 weeks of consistent practice, though deeper shifts typically develop over several months.
Is this just positive thinking or is there actual science behind it?
This approach is grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy principles and mindfulness research, focusing on attention training rather than simply “thinking positive thoughts.”
What’s the difference between this and just being grateful?
While gratitude is part of it, this approach also includes accepting challenges as normal, reducing complaint habits, and actively training attention to notice overlooked positive details in ordinary situations.
Can someone practice this while still working to improve their life circumstances?
Absolutely—this mindset actually enhances goal achievement by reducing the mental energy spent on complaining and increasing focus on productive action and problem-solving.
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